Warhammer, Pender Village

The Battle of Pender Village Ruins.

It had been a long journey to the Sate of United Peoples or some odd human concept of territory. But Skagg’s and his lads had made it.

Unfortunately, they had arrived upon a wasteland, strewn with arcane temples overtop much of what once was Pender Village. Before them, among exotic archways gilt with gold and friezes of objects which hurt to look at, sat an outhouse. A fairly ornate outhouse, with statues at every corner. It looked revered and respected, adorned and adored. Skaggs wanted to burn it.

But one statue moved, the metal bucket placed over the head was in fact a mighty warrior’s helm. The tall Chaos Lord had sensed the approach of foe, raising a mighty spear shafted plunger in readiness.

Seeing this obstacle next to the building, Skagg’s shouted at the gathered mob,
“Thump that metal git, prolly got the keys for this place, we’re gonna burn it!”

“Yeah! Burn Burn Burn!” they chorused.

The mob swarmed toward the Chaos Lord, winning the initiative and charged an inch from full measure. It carried Skaggs right to the door of the Outhouse, which he immediately began to attack.


The mob surrounded the Chaos lord and through slashes of blunt swords and jabs of their spears, drew first blood. The Chaos Lord swung his ensorcelled plunger and bopped one unfortunate gobbo out cold. None cared for the loss.

Meanwhile Tobnam, the actual Gitboss, of the expedition brought his regiment forward, their semi-organised advanced creating a broad left flank. He foresaw the coming Bloodreavers and the brutal Khorgorath rolling over them all if not stopped. Leaving the manic looters to settling the matter with the Chaos Lord.

They gathered quickly and no sooner had they organised themselves, when the Blood Reavers were upon them.

This time, the Chaos Lord took the initiative and swung wildly, his lack of sight clearly effecting the connecting his attacks. He slew naught of the goblins teeming about him, the return cacophony of metal on metal as a dozen blades and spear tips rung upon his armour drew yet another wound. Pizza, the only Shaman, spied Reavers, a Chaos Lord and the Khorgorath, panic rising he thrust out a hand and zotted on instinct, the arcane bolt sparking across the Chaos Lord’s armour, burning away another wound.


The Bloodreavers crashed into Tobnam’s lads, laying low three. But training paid off and one survived behind his shield. The Gobbos jabbed and stabbed back, killing only one attacker. Frustrated, Tobnam showed his lads how it was done, and cleaved three Reavers at the knees. Everyone held their ground despite the losses.


The Khorgorath closed straight down the centre, as too the Blood Warriors on the right flank. The very experienced Bogga Stunty-Killer saw them and tried to get Skagg’s attention, but the arsonist was to busy pummeling at the Outhouse door, frustrated but making headway.

Those not trying to take down an Outhouse door, got stuck in; the unaligned raiders wailed upon the Chaos Lord, bringing him down to but a cut from death. Tobnam and his gits finished off the Reavers, another display of choppy action by the gobbos causing their champion to leggit’. Despite three more casualties, the gobbo regiment kept their gumption up. The Khorgorath was near and the Chaos Lord still stood.

Chaos refused to yield to the diminutive raiders. The Blood Warriors charged and barged into Bogga and a few gobbos protecting Skaggs’ right. The fight was brutal but another shield save protected one of four gobbos run underfoot.

At the same time the Chaos Lord laid about himself, ensorcelled plunger weaving through the air. Not once did it connect, the goblins all about him withdrawing from the bizarre display.

Meanwhile a lone Goblin stikka stood between the Khorgorath and Tobnam’s lads. Quivering in his boots, the mountain goblin hid behind his shield and stuck his spear out. So confused at this tiny display of resistance, the Khorgorath paused his charge. (Double 1s)

Having enough of the offending gobbo, the Khorgorath lashed out with his bone appendages and rent the poor fool limb from limb.

Tobnam gathered his lads for the charge in retaliation. They moved up and then rushed the beast crying out curses and filthy insults. Quickly they surrounded the beast and began stabbing and hacking. Tobnam being the most successful. And despite multiple strikes at the teeming ring of goblins, the Khorgorath managed to kill goblins one by one only. With a couple sneaking off during the fight.

Inspired by this singular act of gobbo power, Bogga and the few goblins on the right flank, retaliated and took down a champion. The Chaos Lord succumbed to multiple attacks finally and fell under stabs and jabs. His cries of anguish reverberating within the bucket helm. Skaggs kept bashing away upon the door all the while.
Skaggs’ lads jumped up and down on the corpse of the Chaos Lord, grabbed his plunger aloft and charged across into the Blood Warriors, not quite organising themselves with stabbas first and spears behind (I rolled to check if they would be smart enough 50/50)


The fight was brutal withย  toll on both sides, but the lads stuck it out, led by the veteran Bogga and the impressively skilled Minion of Morcar. Fizza, the shaman added to the fray and zotted one Blood Champion into cooked, meaty ruin.

Skaggs turned around as the last Blood Champion fell,
“What are you lot standing aroun’ for? Help me smash this door in!”
Immediately they surged about the Outhouse to begin attacking. It was about then that Skaggs decided to merely try the door handle latch, which worked as intended and the interior was lit by his torch.
“I”m in!” he shouted, tossing his torch, end of end, into the gloom.
The walls or floor didn’t ignite as he had come to expect. But the space within suddenly broiled and swirled with purple blue flame.

“Get Out!” He shrilled, as a roiling maw of ignited gases within came for him and the open door.

But it was too late. The chaotic sewage strewn about and far below, had ignited. The resultant explosion blasted apart the Outhouse and two of the Goblins, not quick enough to move, just disappeared.

Even Skaggs didn’t make it, his form embraced by his favourite element, silouhetted in the doorway for but an instant, before he was vaulted bodily into the sky.

The survivors gathered themselves up from about the smouldering, pungent crater before them.
“Well, now wut?” one muttered.

Over several moments, the Khorgorath was whittled down to one wound, but left only Tobnam encouraging but a single goblin prodder. The others either run off or smears on the charcoal ground.

As another roar erupted, as Tobnam continued to land blows but the Khorgorath stood. The beast had begun to look beaten, bloodied and on its last legs. Perfect conditions for any cunning grot mob attack. Those said grots did gather, grinning maliciously, then charged across the coal black plains. (11 inch charge roll)


No sooner had they surrounded the flagging beast, then several spear stabs brought down, the other gobbos laying about it with stabbas and pokers.


Bogga claimed victory rights atop the corpse. Leaving Tobnam and his only surviving mountain goblin warrior to look on in frustration. So much work and some udda’ git got the prize.

Looking about the bodies and rubble, there was nothing to gather from the ruins besides trinkets, replacement weapons and some metal plates. Sadly the Buckethlem stayed put, banged and stoved into place. They had come all this way to discover Pender Village had been destroyed in a war of ending, villagers lost into far off spangly realms with loads of shouty choppy humans everywhere.

“Casualties” left, actual dead, right.

Picking up the fancy plunger they had just begun to wander off when a dry voice spoke up,
“Stop right there..”

Skaggs staggered out from between a temple archway, blackened and charred. (50/50 dice roll – he lives? He did)
“That thing is mine!” Skaggs snatched the plunger away from the git carrying it.
The first gobbo to try and grab it back was bopped on the head out cold.

Everyone looked between Tobnam and Skaggs.

The former with but a few gobbos following him whom had “miraculously” reappeared. But even more reappeared behind Skaggs.

“Wut we do.. wut we do is,” he held the plunger aloft suddenly, “No more of da fire and burnin’ We gunna’ plunge Axe Bite Pass into ruin!”

The gobbos looked about a little confused.

“Plunge’em plunge’em..” started Skaggs.

The chant was taken up by a couple more then quickly everyone.
“Plunge’Em! Plunge’Em! Plunge’Em..”

They kept it up for a short while, following Skaggs as he strutted forward plunger aloft, before growing bored of it and skulking off toward a rickety boat ride home.

NOTE: This battle report was placed a year ago when I worked in the USA. After a catastrophic DoS attack, I lost the site and this report. Here you can find the photos and a new version of the report!

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