Welcome to the first foray of our ramshackle goblins and their more regimented allies, the Mountain Goblins of Axe Bite Pass. You can read Skaggs the Chief Arsonists’ introduction here.
Grand Battle of Pender Village. Age of Sigmar, 500pts (ish).
(Washington DC, USA. Fairfax at Games Workshop Pender Village verse Doshu, the fantastic store manager )
It had been a long journey to the Land of United Peoples, or State of United Peoples or whatever odd human territory this was. But Skagg’s and his lads had made it.
Unfortunately, they had arrived upon a wasteland, strewn with arcane temples atop the ruins of what once was, Pender Village.
Before them, among exotic archways gilt with gold and friezes of objects which hurt to look at, sat an outhouse. A fairly ornate outhouse, with statues at every corner. It looked revered and respected, adorned and adored. Skaggs wanted to burn it.
However another statue nearby moved, the metal bucket placed over the head was in fact the mighty warrior’s helm. The tall Chaos Lord had sensed the approach of foe, raising a mighty spear shafted plunger in readiness to defend his captured Devotional Outhouse of Sigmar.
Seeing this obstacle next to the building, Skagg’s shouted at the gathered mob,
“Thump that metal ‘eaded git, prolly got the keys for this place, we’re gonna burn it!”
“Yeah! Burn Burn Burn!” they chorused.
Gaining a sudden and fast initiative, the mob swarmed toward the Chaos Lord, winning the initiative and charging an inch from fullest measure. It carried Skaggs right to the door of the Outhouse, which he immediately began to attack ignoring all else.
The mob surrounded the Chaos lord; slashes of blunt swords and jabs of their spears, they drew first blood. The Chaos Lord swung his ensorcelled plunger and bopped one unfortunate gobbo out cold. None cared for the loss.
Meanwhile Tobnam, the actual Mountain Goblin Gitboss of the expedition, brought his regiment forward in semi-organised advanced forming a broad left flank. He foresaw the coming Bloodreavers and the brutal Khorgorath rolling over them all if not stopped. Leaving the manic looters to settling the matter with the Chaos Lord.
The Chaos Lord retook the fight and swung wildly, his lack of sight clearly effecting the ability to connect his attacks. He slew naught of the goblins teeming about him, the return cacophony of metal on metal as a dozen blades and spear tips rung upon his armour drew yet another wound. Fizza, the only Shaman, spied Reavers, a Chaos Lord and the Khorgorath, panic rising he thrusts out a hand and lightning zotted on instinct, the arcane bolt sparking across the Chaos Lord’s armour, burning away another wound.
The Bloodreavers crashed into Tobnam’s lads, laying low three. But “training” paid off and one survived behind his shield. The Gobbos jabbed and stabbed back, killing only one attacker. Frustrated, Tobnam showed his lads how it was done, and cleaved three Reavers at the knees. Everyone held their ground despite the losses.
All the while, the Khorgorath closed straight down the centre, as too the Blood Warriors on the right flank. The very experienced Bogrid Stunty-Killer saw them and tried to get Skagg’s attention, but the arsonist was too busy pummelling at the Outhouse door, frustrated but making headway (Red die is 5 of 6 building wounds).
Those not trying to take down an Outhouse door (Everybody), got stuck in; the unaligned raiders wailed upon the Chaos Lord, bringing him down to but a cut from death. Tobnam and his gits finished off the Reavers, another display of choppy action by the gobbos causing their champion to leggit’. Despite three more casualties, the gobbo regiment kept their gumption up. The Khorgorath was near and the Chaos Lord still stood.
Chaos refused to yield to the diminutive raiders. The Blood Warriors charged and barged into Bogrid Stunty Killer and the few gobbos to Skaggs’ right. The fight was brutal but another shield save protected one of four gobbos run underfoot.
At the same time the Chaos Lord laid about himself, ensorcelled plunger weaving through the air. Not once did it connect, the goblins all about him withdrawing from the bizarre display.
Meanwhile a lone Mountain Goblin stood between the Khorgorath and Tobnam’s lads. Quivering in his boots, the mountain goblin hid behind his shield and stuck his spear out. So confused at this tiny display of resistance, the Khorgorath paused his charge. (Double 1s)
This singular act of gobbo ‘courage’, was cut short by the Khorgorath, as it lashed out with bone appendages and rent the poor fool limb from limb.
Tobnam gathered his lads for the charge in retaliation. They moved up and then rushed the beast, crying out curses and filthy insults. Quickly they surrounded the monster and began stabbing and hacking. Tobnam being the most successful. Despite multiple strikes at the teeming ring of goblins, the Khorgorath managed to kill goblins only one by one. Even still, a couple of goblins began sneaking off during the fight.
Finally the deranged Chaos Lord succummbed to multiple attacks, beaten under by stabs and jabs. His cries of anguish reverberating in the bucket helm. Skaggs’ lads jumped up and down on the corpse of the Chaos Lord, grabbed his plunger aloft and charged across into the Blood Warriors, not quite organising themselves with stabbas first and spears behind (I rolled to check if they would be smart enough 50/50)
The fight was brutal with a bloody toll on both sides, but the lads stuck it out, led by the veteran Bogrid Stunty Killer and the impressively skilled Goblin minion of Morcar, who each took on warriors personally. Fizza, the Shaman in the backline, added to the fray and zotted one Blood Champion into cooked, meaty ruin.
Over several moments, the Khorgorath was whittled down to one wound, but the bloody fight had left Tobnam encouraging but a single goblin prodder. The others either run off or smears on the charcoal ground. Things looked bleak for the more organised goblins fighters.
Skaggs turned around as the last Blood Champion fell,
“What are you lot standing aroun’ for? Help me smash this door in!”
Immediately they surged about the Outhouse to begin attacking, but before the first strike, Skaggs decided to merely try the door handle latch, which worked as intended and the interior was lit by his torch.
“I”m in!” he shouted.
The Chief Arsonist tossed his torch, end over end, into the gloom. Neither the walls or floor ignited as he had come to expect. However the space within suddenly broiled and swirled with purple blue flame. (50/50 dice roll, burns or explodes)
“Get Out!” He shrilled, as a roiling maw of ignited gases within came for him and the open door.
But it was too late. The defiling chaotic sewage strewn about and far below in the chute, had ignited. The resultant explosion blasted apart the Outhouse and two of the Goblins not quick enough to move.
Even Skaggs didn’t make it, his form embraced by his favourite element, silouhetted in the doorway for but an instant, before he was sent bodily into the sky.
The survivors gathered themselves up from about the smouldering, pungent crater before them.
“Well, now wut?” one muttered.
A roar erupted nearby, for Tobnam continued to land blows upon the Khorgorath. The beast however, looked beaten, bloodied and on its last legs. Perfect conditions for any cunning grot mob attack. They gathered together grinning maliciously, then charged across the coal black plains. (My second 11 inch charge roll)
No sooner had they surrounded the flagging beast, then several spear stabs brought down, the other gobbos laying about it with stabbas and slashas.
Bogrid claimed victory rights atop the corpse (I had begun rolling off who got the killing blow). Leaving Tobnam and his only surviving mountain goblin warrior to look on in frustration. So much work and this udda’ git got the prize.
Looking about the bodies and rubble, there was nothing to gather except trinkets, replacement weapons and some metal plates from the dead. Sadly the Spangled Buckethlem stayed put, banged and stoved inwardly. They had come all this way to raid Pender Village, only to discover it had been destroyed in a mighty War of Ending, villagers lost into far off spangly realms with loads of shouty choppy humans left everywhere.
Picking up the fancy plunger they had just begun to wander off when,
“Stop right there..” a voice of entitlement coughed up.
Skaggs staggered out from between a temple archway, blackened, charred. (50/50 he lives? He did rolled a 6)
“That thing is mine!” Skaggs snatched the plunger away from the git carrying it.
The first gobbo to try and grab it back was bopped on the head, out cold. Everyone looked between Gitboss Tobnam and Skaggs, the former with but a few gobbos following him as survivors of the fight began to “miraculously” reappear. However, even more reappeared behind Skaggs so everyone looked to him.
“Wut we do.. wut we do is..,” he held the plunger aloft suddenly, “No more of da fire and burnin’ We’re gunna’ plunge Axe Bite Pass into ruin!”
The gobbos looked about a little confused.
“Plunge’em plunge’em..” started Skaggs.
The chant was taken up by a couple more then quickly everyone.
“Plunge’Em! Plunge’Em! Plunge’Em..”
They kept it up for a short while, following Skaggs as he strutted forward plunger aloft, before they began skulking off toward the rickety boat home.
Actual casualties Right, those who ran during the fight, Left:
I rolled very well for runaways and shield blocks – couple of times the gobbos should have been steam rolled, but some unfortunate rolls for Chaos kept the Lord missing, the beast slashing wildly. A fortunate series of events for Skaggs and the gits, in what was an hilarious game as Chaos and Goblin antics ran rampant.
Thank you for reading! – Sebastian.